To connect your life with another person is a very important decision that requires psychological preparation. Getting married is a change that people feel differently. And so the first step in making such a decision is to decide what you feel about this. If you are at the stage of dating, then you have the opportunity to think things through. It is better to learn about important things that may subsequently cause disagreement before marriage kindly provided by the j4l.com site.
1. Are you ready to change your life?
Getting married, you are moving into a new life. Now you are not alone. And this must be reckoned with. Relations with friends and relatives will change. You will have to give up some hobbies in order to devote more time, energy to your partner, and your relationship. Are you ready for a change? What are you willing to give up for your family? What are you not ready for?
2. Why am I getting married? For what reasons?
If all this is done in order to have a grand party, brag to your friends who are in relationships with hot ladies, and be like “everyone else”, then this is not a reason to get married! You must understand that you want to marry this person because you want to live together all your life.
3. Are you ready to spend more time together?
Can you imagine that you have to see this woman every day, every hour, spend a vacation and free time with her, and so on? Are you ready for it? When you think about it, do these thoughts please you or does it make you sad?
4. Can you get along with your partner’s bad habits?
Everyone has them, the whole question is how acceptable are those habits that your loved one has. Some people can forgive the scattered things but cannot stand it when they have to remind their partners to take a shower. Others do not even notice if someone is chomping nearby but are ready to kill for dirty dishes in the sink. Such seeming trifles can bring your marriage to a deadlock, especially if you didn’t live together with your loved one before getting married.
5. Are you open about your past?
Marriage is based on intimacy. But you will never know this feeling unless you tell about your mistakes and struggles. If you hide your pain behind a mask, you will bring this pain to marriage and, of course, hurt your partner. Regardless of whether it is depression, addiction, or some other problems, talk about it before marriage.
6. Do you trust the past of your partner?
Don’t marry if you are not completely sure about the partner’s past, especially if she has been married before. It’s good to ask more questions. Figure everything out. You don’t want to discover after the honeymoon that your woman is not at all who she claims to be, right?
7. Are you ready to sacrifice your desires for the sake of a beloved person?
In marriage, both partners should know how to “give” and “take”, especially during the first few years after the wedding. Consequently, you may have to reconsider your desires and needs and rectify them. Are you ready for this? Yes, you may have to stop dreaming of buying a pricey car and give all the money you have to your spouse so that they get an opportunity to complete their education. You have to make some sacrifices for the sake of love.
8. Are you responsible for finances?
You don’t need to have millions to live happily in marriage. However, if you don’t know how to pay bills, financial stress can undermine your marriage. Many couples today don’t even know how to open a bank account, split the budget, or save money. Find someone who can help you in these matters if your parents have not taught you how to manage money.
9. How do your family and your partner’s family relate to your marriage?
There is no guarantee that parents will be happy with your choice. But if there are violent conflicts in families, perhaps you need to consider whether it is wise to get married. Romeo and Juliet loved each other too, but their story ended tragically due to the attitude of their families to this love.
10. Are your expectations about your partner real?
No matter how much you love your woman now, you must understand that she is an imperfect person who has some of her own shortcomings. Are you ready to accept her with these shortcomings? Will you close your eyes to them? If you think that you will change her, don’t even dream about it. People don’t change, and it is a fact.
11. Do you have common goals and values?
This is not about what to cook for dinner or where to go on vacation. Such things can be discussed and easily solved. This is about great values – about how many children you want to have, how you see your life in 5 years, and so on. Such issues need to be discussed on the shore before your family ship sets off.
12. Where are you going to live?
This applies to both the question of the nearest future (where you are going to live after becoming husband and wife) and your plans for life. Perhaps one of you dreams of moving to another city or country. You need to agree on this matter in advance so that later, there will be no unpleasant surprises.
13. Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with this person?
Believe it, marriage is not an easy decision. And you need to make sure that you are ready for this lifetime commitment. In the end, both of you are getting on in years. You and your spouse change. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life and grow old with this person?